i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
