I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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