so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
