Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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