I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
