I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
