My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
