why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
