Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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