Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
