Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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