Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
