I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Randomize
