I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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