this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
