i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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