quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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