I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
