I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
