My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
So squirting runs in the family.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My dick has a subreddit
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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