My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
