Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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