Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
