btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
