Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
