I puked a lego.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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