I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
