He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
