The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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