I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
