your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
