Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
