When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
