I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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