So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just puked most of my soul out..
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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