I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Randomize
