I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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