sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
