# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
