He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
