You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
you made out with another girl for some wings
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
