you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
