Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
