What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
whose ass print is on the piano?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
