You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
