They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
