...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
