I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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