her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
