my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
