I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
