I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
