i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
